The Obligation of Choice

What do you do when your eyes are opened to the limitless sky of magic that you can fly through unweighted? When everywhere you look there is something beautiful, exotic, exciting, so breathtaking you can’t help but cry? You can reach out your hands and take the ripest fruits life can offer, yet only enjoy so much of it. You have to make a choice. 

It almost hurts to know there are soulmates I will never meet in this lifetime, places my eyes will never behold, languages my mind will never comprehend. I am in a way following my last post with this thought. 

I guess it is simply an unavoidable rule of life that something must always be sacrificed, be it one person for another, one place for another, one hobby for another. Agonizing over something woven into the fabric of reality is self-sabotage. The pain of longing is what balances the scale of deep fulfillment. “Good vibes only” is an illusion for the shallow.

The question I then ask myself is, am I a deeply rooted tree or a leaf on the wind? But why can’t I be both? My almost-frustrating level of stubbornness gets me stuck in this cycle of endless desires and ambition, with me thinking I can have it all as long as I pursue it. That inevitably means things get left behind whether I want them to or not. 

I’m reminded of the quote from Lord of the Rings, “It’s dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your door. You step into the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.”

I’m learning to embrace the ache of letting go. It will be a lifelong endeavor, but one that becomes easier over time. 

Thank you for reading, talk soon ♥ 

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