Hi lovely reader, I hope you’re having a good day or night!
I’m sitting here in the quiet as I write this. It has been rainy all day and ever since I sat down to write this I’ve been trying not to nod off into sleep haha (it’s only 5PM).
In my recent Instagram post, I spoke about how my year hadn’t quite started off how I expected, and that I gave myself some time get all of the stagnant energy out of my system. I thought I had, but when I wrote that, it was the week leading up to my period so cravings and PMS kicked it and changed my plans. I fell back into the poor habits I thought I was ready to move on from.
Recently I’ve been struggling with several old damaging habits. I don’t feel fulfilled by the end of the day, like I’m pouring into a cup that has a hole in it and when I stop pouring, I see it emptying so I continue trying to fill the cup, even though the better option would be to fix the cup or get a new one. I was up so late last night which is why I’m so tired right now. But even though I didn’t get out of bed until a ridiculous time, I made it a decent day.
Although I am still trying to release these shitty habits for good, I have the ability now to recognize when a poor habit is rearing it’s head. I am quick to notice and analyze it, to see why it’s happening. That alone means so much to me. Being able to do that has saved me so much confusion and suffering.
An area that I’ve been in the process of improving is my social media exposure. We can sometimes forget that we have 100% control over what we allow ourselves to see. We can unfollow, unsubscribe, and delete as much and as often as we need to until our social media is exactly how we want it to look. It might feel selfish at first, or we don’t want to unfollow certain people because we want to “support” them, or it might be awkward, but at the end of the day our mental wellbeing goes above all of that.
In 2020, I unfollowed/unsubscribed from probably around 200+ accounts on Instagram and YouTube. I was following a couple of people who kept me in the loop with certain things, but I found that over time it was draining to see their posts. It is important to stay informed with the things you care about, but I learned that there’s a way to do that without always being exposed to the negative aspects, if that makes sense.
I believe that if you focus on the things that lift your soul, you will continue to be more aware of those things. That will influence your thoughts, behavior, and actions, which will guide you onto the path of making more soul-nourishing choices. Some call this the law of attraction. In my mind, both the effort on our part (changing our ingrained thought patterns and in turn acting out of trust and not fear, ect) and guidance from the Universe are needed. To me it’s a symbiotic relationship. I can’t expect the Universe to do all of the work for me. I am guided toward action that I alone must take. Just like no one else besides Frodo could take the ring to Mount Doom.
I am seeing the areas in my life that I’m allowing to control me and I’m changing for a healthier version of myself. Focus on the things you can control.
Thank you so much for reading, I hope you have a lovely day!